By Gary Peterson
Under different circumstances, today could have been a seminal experience for you, the incurable Cal football fan. Had the Bears not blown that 12-point lead against UCLA, you might have spent the morning at Boopsie's Manicure & Dye -- hair blue, fingernails gold -- instead of sleeping in. Had your Sturdy Goldens been able to get out of their own way against Oregon State, you'd probably have pulled your old John McKay voodoo doll out of the closet and given it a needle-ectomy.
Had Marshawn Lynch not broken his hand, had the offensive line not been wracked by a concussion pandemic, had Joe Ayoob been a slightly quicker study, or had Tom Schneider shaken a miracle out of his right leg at the end of regulation at Oregon last Saturday, you might already have treated yourself to a bracing slug of brandy in preparation for Saturday's game against USC. It could have been nothing less than the biggest game in Cal football history. USC comes in as most people expected it would -- ranked No. 1 by the Associated Press, USA Today and, in a good week, the BCS; undefeated in 31 games since losing to Cal in Berkeley two years ago; and unloved north of Exposition Boulevard and east of the 110.
Had the Bears found a way -- to hold on against UCLA, to rise up against the Oregons, etc. -- Saturday could have been a day like no other in the 124-year history of the Cal program. Two undefeated teams. No. 1 vs. No. 6, 8 or, worst case, 9. Pete Carroll's Traveling All-Stars against Jeff Tedford's wicked-good schemes. You could have been entertaining fantasies of a national championship. It would have been naive, given that some extraordinary developments would have had to take place first -- say, Texas deciding to discontinue its football program in midseason. But you could have dreamed it, without inviting undue ridicule. But no.
Instead, it's unbeaten USC against unranked Cal. It's the greatest offense in college football history (go ahead, ask Carroll; he won't deny it) against a work in progress. Instead of entertaining fantasies of a national championship, you're thinking instead that it would be nice if Cal wound up somewhere other than the Insight or Holiday bowls, given that they've done that and you've been there the past two Decembers. Admit it -- Saturday's game is a bit of a letdown. It's OK to feel disappointed. You've got five seconds. OK, now snap out of it. If you've got your game tickets in hand, you know you're going to go. Here is why you're going to like it:
• It's an event that has happened just once before in the history of Cal football -- a top-ranked opponent coming to Berkeley. The only precedent is 1967, when an O.J.-centric USC team beat 5-5 bound Cal, 31-12. On eight other occasions, Cal has hit the road for the privilege of being smoked by a No. 1.
• Cal might win (Part I). If that happens, you really will be sitting in on history. The Bears have lost all nine of their games against No. 1 teams by an average of 24 points. Their closest call was last season's 23-17 loss at USC.
• Cal might win (Part II). If that happens, the Bears are certain to leap back into the Top 25, perhaps inside the top 20.
• It's Senior Day. Admit it -- the older you get, the closer this event comes to making you sob uncontrollably.
• USC really is worthy of your envy-driven contempt. Quarterback Matt Leinart won a national championship and the Heisman Trophy last season and decided to come back for more. Tailback Reggie Bush is a valid reason to root for the 49ers to lose out this season. Bush's backup, LenDale White, would be a star on any other team in college football. And those are just the Heisman candidates. "You're not going to find a lot of consistency there," Tedford said after watching film of the USC offense. "The only consistent thing is they've been successful and they make big plays."
• Tedford generally saves his best for USC. He's 1-2 against the Trojans during his time at Cal, but the games have been instant classics: A two-point loss to 20th-ranked USC in 2002; a three-point, triple-overtime win over third-ranked USC in '03; and last year's thrilla in South Central. As the ticket scalpers like to say, that's as close to guaranteed drama as you're going to get for $200 per end zone seat. As a bonus, there's the chance that after a great game, you'll get to watch USC cheerleaders cry on each other's shoulders.
And that's something else the ticket scalpers say: There's nothing like watching someone else wallow in their disappointment to make you forget about your own.
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