Stanford Daily: We're going to win (maybe)

By Jack Salisbury

It’s funny to think that one of the worst seasons in the history of Stanford football could turn itself into a complete success. It’s pretty simple, actually: all the team has to do is win this Saturday.  I know that I sound delusional and ridiculous right now. But hear me out for a second.  Stanford is going to beat Cal. Despite the fact that the Cardinal are 28 point underdogs (which, I would have to imagine, is the largest difference in a point spread for the Big Game in a long time), have only won one game this season and have been crushed on numerous occasions, Stanford will win. Forget that that the game is against Cal, probably the second-best college football program west of Austin. This shows you why rivalries in college football are so great. They allow for uninhibited delusional thinking. You don’t have to look any further than the last paragraph to see an example.

If you would have asked me how our team would fare any other week of the season, I’d probably just say, ‘Oh, we’re playing them? We’ll probably get killed.’ And most of the time, I would have been right.  But ask me right now if we’re going to beat Cal? We can do it. A few things have to go right, but I have a good feeling. You see, with rivalry games, everything goes out the window. The previous 11 games that have built us up to this point mean nothing. We have one game, one three and a half hour block of time to rectify several months of dreariness and disappointment. How can the team not be incredibly excited for this one game? They can erase all the memories of such a horrible season if they collectively play the best game of football in their lives. It would probably take a little luck, but anything’s possible, right?

I’ve got to stop myself, though. I’m becoming delusional again. Tailback Marshawn Lynch will run wild all over Stanford’s defense. Nate Longshore, the next great Tedford quarterback, will pick apart the Cardinal secondary with the precision of a surgeon. Super-athlete DeSean Jackson will put an exclamation mark on the Bears’ massacre with a punt return for a touchdown.  In all likelihood, this is what’s going to happen. If I were a betting man, I’d have to go with the Bears. Well, actually, I am a betting man; I just choose wisely not to put money on a dire and hopeless circumstance like this one.  But wait? What am I saying? This is Big Game, a Game unlike any other. Anything goes — what other college football game could have produced the thrashing of a trombone player in the end zone after a game-winning touchdown? Seriously, think about it.  Sure, our football team isn’t great. They’re actually pretty bad, if you hadn’t noticed.  But when it comes down to it, they are men who breathe, eat and sleep just like their counterparts from Berkeley. The Cal players might be a little bit faster, bigger and more skilled — and less intelligent, I might add — but who cares? Forget the statistics and the scouting reports. The only thing that matters is the three and a half hours of football that will take place at Memorial Stadium. This is what Big Game week has done to me. The same thing happens on campuses across the country. You only have to look a few hundred miles south to UCLA, where the Bruins think they can actually beat the mighty Trojans of USC. Hah, fat chance.

But like I’ve said, that’s what great about these rivalry games. All rationality goes straight out the window the week beforehand.  Yes, there’s probably a 90 percent chance that we’ll be down by double digits at halftime. And yes, there’s a good chance that we’ll lose for the fifth straight year. But I still think we’re going to win. In short, I’ve completely deluded myself into thinking that we have some sort of chance to beat Cal this week. After writing this, I hope I’ve deluded you, too. Because after all: you’ve gotta believe.